State of my Life (Feb 2019)

We spent about 91% of what we made this month and about $400 less than last month.  Of course, this month had two fewer days than last so I’m not sure if we showed any actual improvement.  If you factor out our aggressive credit card payments we spent about 77% of what we made.

What are we spending our money on? 

4% Car

2% Entertainment

9% Fashion & Leisure

27% Food

3% Home Goods

38% Mortgage

4% Pets

2% Wellness

11% Education

Notable breakouts

Almost 3% of all spending went to vet bills to get Sagan’s teeth cleaned.

5% of our spending was on clothes.  3% of our spending was on clothes for me because I needed them and I’ probably not done yet

We somehow outspent ourselves in food this month over the last by nearly $220.  This one really boggles me because I feel like we ate more at home in February (I know we did) and I was trying to shop for cheaper groceries.  The only thing I can point to as being a factor was Dana’s birthday diner as well as the treats we bought for the kid’s to eat at the Youth Dance Fest

And speaking of dance, we somehow outspent ourselves this month over the last by a little more than $100.  Once again, I’m baffled excepting to say that at least $200 of that should have been a January expense (Old check) and the rest was mostly due to Elissa’s rehab training which is making a difference.

For gifts we spent about $200 more than we did last month because of Dana’s birthday and Valentine’s Day.  This is a no brainer.

As for the diet:

Well, almost every day that I tracked I exceeded my calorie budget and most days were over 2,000 so I’m not going to even bother doing a breakdown.  Let’s just say that this month was not ideal.  I did lose a bunch of weight when I was sick but quickly put it back on.  Only during the past week have I started pulling it back into place.  As of today, I’m 1 pound lighter than I was when I started the month.

I can’t say I’m happy with Feb but at least I showed a little improvement and it was a very tough month.  With being sick, the Rodeo performance, and trying to keep Elissa current in school I felt like there was never a single moment to just focus on any one thing. 

I am getting better at ticking off all of my daily task on my list.  I think this is a result of (1.) learning how to make more realistic lists and (2.) getting back the extra time during my week when I used to be dancing Rodeo.  I know I complain about it a lot but that’s because it really was a terrible imposition.  I enjoyed the experience but it was essentially an earthquake that I’m still suffering aftershocks from.

In March, we have out trip to Atlanta which will disrupt both spending and diet, I’m sure but beyond that, I can’t think of too many other things that could cause me trouble.  Hopefully the road ahead will be smooth and the weather dry.

Dreaming

An odd thing has happened to me here lately.  For the past 3 nights, I’ve actually slept deeply enough to dream.  This is a big thing for me because, usually I sleep in fits and spurts, and they never seem to be long enough to enter a dream state. 

The first night, I dreamt that Elissa and I were at a daddy daughter dance and that she left me to run off with some cool boy.  There was a song that was playing where the chorus was “Everybody wants to spit in my hair”, and a water slide across the street called the Koala T, which would scream “QUALITY” every time someone slid down it.

The night after, I dreamed that our house had a bunch of secret rooms and passages and somehow this was all connected to Spider man.  I’m not really sure how but there was a party and a fight started and one of the guys who was getting beat up turned out to be him.  Once his true identity was revealed, the plot escalated into some sort of caper involving quantum jumps and space aliens.  Unfortunately, I woke up before I was able to resolve it all.

Last night, I dreamt I was a superhero who could turn himself into a whale to rescue other whales.  I used my powers to direct them away from danger.  I don’t remember many details except that I somehow rescued a baby beluga who was stuck in frozen waters by melting the ice and diving down with it until I’d gotten it to safety.

I like dreaming.  It makes me want to sleep more. 

Tiling went badly last night.  I’m not sure how but my lines are off in the corners pretty badly.  I’m trying to gradually direct them back into place using some gradual cuts but it’s taking up my time and causing me to use up a bunch of tiles in the process.  I’m so sick of this shower.

Oh yeah, one last thing.  I’m in another damned ballet.  Basically, I showed up for pas class and was told that I was hired.  So far it seems like it’s going to be less of a commitment than Rodeo was but still, it takes up about 2 hours right smack dab in the middle of the day on my Saturdays.  Ugh.

Setting them up and knocking them down

I need to share this impressive list from yesterday.  Granted, I cheated somewhat with the laundry (I just kicked off a batch that Dana had put in the washer) and the dog (the kid washed him for me) but the rest of it is all me.  I’m pretty darned proud of myself.

I almost made it up half of the other wall with tiling last night.  I probably could have but I forgot that starting a new row is always hard at the beginning trying to make sure everything is leveled out and stacking correctly.  The truth is, for about the first 4 or 5 rows, it’s not exactly level as it stands now but it’s so miniscule a difference, I’m hoping that it won’t be noticeable once everything else is done.

The challenge of this new wall is that I had to use the mortar to somewhat build it out at the base as it doesn’t have the same indentation that the other walls Have.  Of course, I probably could have just bricked it flat but I truly wanted it to match the rest with the base molding so I took extra time to put it on thick.  Once again, the results aren’t perfect but I’m hoping any errors aren’t that noticeable.

Tonight is pizza night (if Dana wants to go) and tomorrow is pas night so there won’t be any tiling getting done for the next two days but I should have most of Saturday and all of Sunday to continue.  Who knows, maybe I will get it done.  I really should either scrape the top half (since I decided I want to go to the ceiling) or paint some water proofing over it so I could do that while I’m waiting to have the time to set tile again just to keep things moving in the right direction.  

I didn’t do anything to the top half of the wall with the shower head and that worries me somewhat.  I plan to be as rough as I can with cleaning and scraping between the tile before setting the grout just to make sure everything is secured as good as possible.  Sometimes, this mortar that I’m using doesn’t like to adhere to the tiles.  I’m mixing it correctly but I don’t think I’m spreading it thick enough.  I’m pretty bad at spreading it.

Another brick in the wall

Well my diet has kind of fallen to pieces over the last month and I still can’t seem to go to sleep without having a drink but I’m happy to report that at least one thing is back on track.  Yes, I’m tiling again and last night, I made it up the entirety of what I think will be my toughest wall.  If I can make it up another wall tonight I will be tickled pink but I’m not overly encouraged about that.  Sure, I have a free night (no Rodeo) but I need to cook and I’ll probably end up helping Elissa out with some of her school work.  If I could just get up half the wall I’ll count it as a total victory.

I also need to share something fun that we did on Presidents day.  Since we all had the day off we went to Epic Waters.  It’s this big indoor waterpark so while it was in the upper 30’s outside we were swimming in 80 degree waters.  It was really nice and we all had such a great time.  It was a good way to close out the long weekend.

Lazy but also, not.

What can I say about this week? If I had to be honest, I’m starting to feel a little guilty about being so lazy and I’m not even really being lazy.  I’m taking care of an endless array of responsibilities at the house and ticking items off of my list every single day but I’m not remodeling the house and that’s kind of nagging at me.  Still, I’m not going to start again until after Presidents Day.  That’s what I said I’d do and I’m sticking to it, not matter how irresponsible I feel about it.

In a way, I think this is good.  It’s making me miss what had definitely become a chore when I was trying to get it done while Rodeo was going on.  I think that when I start again, next week, I will have a new sense of purpose about it and a stronger resolve to get it done.

Of course, I still need to do our taxes and I intend to start on that this weekend.  I’m somewhat worried because so many people are owing this year but Dana said she did a quick down and dirty and it looks like we have a refund.  I’ll take her word for it and try not to lose any sleep.

Tomorrow is Valentine’s Day so today at lunch I need to pick up some flowers for the girls.  I’m not getting any big gifts because Dana said that she’s trying to save money and pay down bills.  Her birthday is this weekend and for that, I’m getting her a gift.  Hopefully she will like it.  If she doesn’t I suppose I can send it back.

Tonight I intend to continue to help the kiddo get caught up with school. All of the performances and the auditions pushed her a little behind and she’s struggling.  I’m also struggling to find the time to help her study but hopefully tonight will be clear and we can focus on her work.  I wanted to tackle it last night but they were late getting in due to a physical therapy appointment and the kiddo was hurting from a dentist appointment earlier in the day.  

I’m not really losing any weight but I’m not gaining either which is a good thing.  I put on about a pound after my drastic six pound loss from being sick and that’s it.  This weekend is a three-day weekend so hopefully I’ll be able to keep the weight off even with Dana’s birthday celebration and the down time.  Who knows, maybe I’ll even lose some more.

Yee-haw!

It’s done!  As of this past Saturday night, I’ve danced my last Rodeo… at least for a while.  It seems like they run it about every 3 years or so, so I’m not ruling out that I could get tasked to do it again but for now…. It’s over.

I was fairly happy with my performance.  I made some mistakes but they were all minor.  I saw some of the other dads, and even the professionals make much more serious errors during the performance.  Trust me, I know that I probably didn’t look the best up there, but I remembered all the steps and pulled them off at the right moments so I count that as almost a complete and total victory.

 

Something that happened during the 11^th hour during the Friday night dress rehearsal which ended up being a really cool thing was that a girl who had a minor but significant part in the performance fell ill and Elissa was selected to fill in for her.  That was always a sticking point with me, that I was spending so much time learning this dance and my kid wasn’t even in it so, it’s like the universe decided to supply a little justice and do us a solid.  Of course, the girl was back and feeling fine by Sunday but her absence on Saturday and my daughter being tasked with her role meant so much to our family.  It was nice.

I’m sure that I will miss those rehearsals some this week.  That’s usually the way that things like this go for me.  Once something has become a part of my life, even if I hate it, I always miss it when it’s gone for some reason.

The good news is that I will finally have time to get back to working on the house.  I’m going to take this week off and not do much beyond keeping things tidy but next week I intend to attack the remodeling once again with everything I have.  Dana says she’s going to pick out colors for the wall this week so that’s a big, big deal.

COUNT THOSE CALORIES

Not really a lot to update from yesterday except that it was the first day that I have felt like I might be a bit on the mend since coming down with whatever I caught on Saturday.  It was nice to have energy again.  Of course, after Rodeo practice my tank was empty again but at least it wasn’t like Monday where I honestly thought I wasn’t going to be able to make it.

I haven’t been doing a great job of tracking my calories.  I’ve been keeping up with the budget and my task list but calorie counting has been lax.  Of course, I estimate that I probably only ate about 500 calories a day while I was sick but still, that’s one of the new habits I’m trying to maintain and I need to be better about it.

Tracked it from last night and, since it was the first day that my appetite had returned since being sick I went over.  I wish I hadn’t but I lost so much weight during the past week it was probably good of me to overeat a little.  Of course, overeating for me is around 2,200 calories but still.  I used to exist on much less per day.

Still Sick (But I've lost 6 pounds)

There really isn’t that much to say about yesterday.  I went to the grocery store at lunch, bought a few things then vacuumed.  Came home once work was done, did the dished then went to bed.

Dana called around 8pm to tell me that she wasn’t going to be able to pick up the kid so I got dressed and drove up to the studio to get her.  On the drive back I felt that something was bugging her but couldn’t get it out of her.  I don’t know, it could have just been my overall general mood.

When I got home, I went back to bed and slept till morning.  Woke up in a pool of my own sweat.  I feel like I’m getting well but who knows for sure.

Still Sick

I am still so incredibly sick so I don’t really care about keeping up with my to-do lists.  Of course, I’m still keeping them but there’s not much on them.  Basically, it’s just the bare minimum of what I have to do during any given day.

Went to Rodeo rehearsal last night.  Finished the dance doused in sweat and not energy at all.  My energy is low today as well and, as soon as I get home tonight, I’ll be going to bed.

My diet’s going great!  I’ve lost 5 pounds since this time last week.  Of course, I haven’t been eating more than a couple of calories a day, just to keep me going, but I’m losing tons of weight.  Hopefully it’ll be something good that comes out of all of this.

YAGP was the high drama experience that it always seems to be.  This one ended up alright, but started out rough.  By then end of the first day I was ready to fight someone.  In fact, I think that’s what made me sick.

During her classical solo, Elissa’s music messed up 3 times so, basically by the time that she was able to perform it in full, she was completely freaked out wondering what was going to go wrong next.  She pushed through like a pro but I knew as soon as I saw it that she wasn’t at her best.  She was wobbly on her turns and her lack of confidence was like a neon sign.

Her contemporary solo went well but it was short and the choreography on it is different than most so the judges misinterpreted a lot of it.  Her teacher was pleased with it so for me, that’s the most important thing where that dance is concerned.  In the future, we may want to have her dance a contemporary choreography that’s more palpable to the massed but this year she really needed a bonding experience with her teacher and an opportunity to let her freak flag fly.

By Saturday I was already getting sick but still had Rodeo rehearsal.  The girls went ahead up to YAGP while I practiced.  I wasn’t really planning on meeting them up there but then I got an email from Dana that they were going to let Elissa do her classical solo again.

I ran home from rehearsal, changed out of my sweaty clothes and headed up there to watch.  I made it just in time and she performed it very well.  She’s not yet at a point where she’s the best in her class yet, but she’s getting there fast and I was very happy with what I saw.

Sunday was just ensembles.  I don’t really care for any of the ones that she’s in this year so the stakes were lower but still I watched.  Once they were over we left.

Both the kiddo and I thought that Dana didn’t want to go to the awards ceremony so we went out to eat instead.  We later found out that she did but all indicators were pointing to a big NO in the moment.  After diner I went home and slept till morning.

Overall, I’m happy with 2019 YAGP.  Of course, it could have gone better but I’m glad that actions were taken to help make the experience right for both us and our kid.  Honestly, this is the first time since transferring to this school that I felt like we’ve been afforded the same graces as everyone else.

Ugh

Would love to tell you about all of the things that went on at YAGP this weekend but I'm sick as a dog.  Maybe tomorrow.